Monday, March 11, 2013

Feeling Successful

Mommyhood has obviously taught me a lot, sometimes faster and harder things than I would prefer, but we've survived! One thing that I'm still working on with God is this annoying feeling that I'm not really doing anything. Yes, I run multiple loads of laundry, clean a ridiculous number of dishes and change a bazillion diapers, but am I really getting anything done? I like love lists. Lists help me feel organized and accomplished. They give me a ridiculous feeling of satisfaction. If I could, I might describe crossing off list items as an addiction. "Hi, I'm Lauren, and I'm a listaholic." Lists aren't evil in themselves, but they can become an idol to me if I'm not careful. I want to get through that list so badly, that I allow those feelings to cloud my judgment and effect my emotions. I can become short-tempered and frustrated when I just can't seem to get that bathroom clean! Then those feelings of frustration lead to feelings of anger and discouragement, and before I know it, I've got some resentment building. ---All that energy wasted in the name of accomplishment.

I'm not advocating list-exodus. Rather, I know in my heart that I have to guard myself against what the world tells me to believe is an "accomplishment". I've got to speak truth to myself, remind myself that I DID do something wonderful today --- I cared for a child given to us for just a short time!

Phil. 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (ESV)

Sophia belongs to the Lord. He has graciously placed her into our arms to nurture and love. Each moment I spend loving her as God loves her, each moment I spend living the Gospel in front of her through serving her, is a MAJOR accomplishment! Sure, maybe the floor is only half mopped and the laundry stuck between washer and dryer, but I loved Sophia today. I unplugged the vacuum and only flat-ironed half of my hair so that I could demonstrate compassion. I only unloaded the silverware tray in the dishwasher, because God had a better task for me in wiping the runny nose.
 
Col. 3:12 "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." (NLT)

A few weeks ago, Brian came home with a box of Rice Krispies and a jar of marshmallow fluff. It had been one of those HARD days --- the kind where you don't even realize your putting dirty dishes in with the clean. He knows my heart and wanted me to have that sense of accomplishment, to be able to cross off a task that had waited over a year: Learn to Bake Rice Krispies Before Sophia is Born. Sometimes tasks have to wait. Sometimes they have to wait a LONG time. And sometimes waiting is REALLY difficult, especially when we try to tell ourselves that it IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING to get that livingroom straightened up RIGHT NOW. But waiting makes those less important tasks all the sweeter.

They turned out delicious and I learned that there is no BAKING required!

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